Real Talk.

this lovely rose was sent to me by my mom.  congrats capt megan! the card read.  love.

This blog makes me seem pretty positive doesn't it?  All these Mettle Makers.  All this talk of Captain's Licenses.  All these things that keep me positive during a Job Hunt.

Let's shoot for a little transparency.  Real Talk if you will.

This morning I called my Mom and was beside myself.  Companies weren't calling me back.  I didn't know who to call next.  I don't know what I want to do next.  More deep sea?  Offshore on a drillship?  Go to an office?  The online job websites aren't working.  I was near tears.

I felt pissed.  I just got my Captains License.  I should be over the moon.  Instead, I'm job hunting and having to defend my level of experience.  Not fair.  Yeah, yeah, yeah....life's not fair. 

Do you want to know what my Mom said?  'Well, maybe you should listen to today's Mettle Maker....you need to be patient....'.

'F*@K the Mettle Maker!' was my retort.  What does that stupid Mettle Maker know?!  I'm going to RUN OUT OF MONEY!!!!!  Patience!  I don't have no stinkin' patience!  Patience was for last month!  This month we're working on, 'get me a freakin' job!!!!!!!

My Mother stayed pretty quiet....and then she said, 'yeah well, you're not going under today so make it count'.  I pretty much just sniffed and gave a weak, 'ya, ok...'.  Then she said, 'so what, you tap into a credit line...you put some groceries on a card....is this the worst case?  You're not going under yet.  You've got more time than you think....'.

She's right.

I'm not going under yet.

Nautie MerCaptain

As a newbie Third Mate I said to my Mom, 'my goal is to make Captain by 30'.  When I said those words I took myself by surprise.  I was hardly happy.  I wanted to do anything be anything else than a Lady Sailor stuck at sea.

Yesterday the United States Coast Guard issued me my Unlimited Tonnage Master's License.

My Life In Color

I noticed recently that I have two distinct color palettes.  I have a Hawaii palette and a Mainland palette.  I have been playing with photoshop and as I scroll through months worth of photos the color difference is incredibly distinct.

In Hawaii I'm attracted to bright blues, pinks, greens and then back them up with softer hues found in nature.  

On the Mainland I'm attracted to darker, richer colors.  My little apartment is full of burgundy, orange, turquoise and magenta.  I have tons of 'tropical colored clothing' and I have a tough time wearing them.  Instead I wear navy blue, brown and gold...like a lot.

What colors are you attracted to?

Mettle Mission :: Day Forty Five

Here's a little Nautie History.  

I had a tough ship as Third Mate.  My Chief Mate was a 'very not nice man' (insert every bad word you can imagine).  He made my life hell.  I cried all the time.  I was going to quit.

Then I had this epiphany - if I did my absolute best, if I defaulted to absolute professionalism, if I answered every one of his inquiries with absolute positivity - he'd eventually wear himself out - or better yet, he'd be the one who looked like a loser even though he was doing everything in his power to make me look like a total reject.

I realized that it was a matter of me biding my time.

I had an arsenal of 'biding my time' survival tactics.

I made a playlist full of antsy rock songs that I listened to non-stop.  I decorated my room full of photos of home and happy things.  I had three plain white t-shirts that I transformed with sharpies and glitter glue.  One said, 'Make Puttanesca'.  One said, 'Don't Worry, Be Happy'.  The last one said, 'Hakuna Matata'.

Long story short:  very not nice man ended up getting escorted off the vessel by the Coast Guard after pretty much diving off the deep end.  I ended up smelling like a rose, a professional rose.

Hakuna Matata.

Via

Until I get a job there will be a daily Mettle Maker - we're on a mission - a mission to get a job and maintain mettle - so we'll call it the Mettle Mission.

Craving Ocean

I am craving ocean.  Like bad.

I would love a coffee on the bridge wing.  I'd like a brisk breeze.  I'd like an unobstructed horizon.

I'm jonesing.

Happy Girls Day!

March 3rd is Girls Day or Hinamatsuri in Japan.

In Hawaii (and duh, Japan) little girls are bringing pink mochi to share with their classroom.  They have their dolls out on display in their houses (I mean, I'm a white girl and I had some...which means Japanese girls have lots, maybe even their Granmas and Moms are on display), and there are bouquets of Cherry Blossoms (sakura) around on display.

Today my Hawaii Girlfriends all messaged me Happy Girls Day and it was such a sweet reminder of a favorite day during my childhood.

I couldn't end the day without wishing you cherry blossoms and pink mochi!

Happy Girls Day!