Megan the Nautie Mermate
THE LIFE AND TIMES OF A LADY SAILOR
I’ll be stopping by now and then to Nautie Mermate to post but, most likely it will be to share my projects from Of Wild Aloha. I’d love to merge the two blogs someday but, Nautie Mermate still feels too sacred to change even though I haven’t been posting.
My dog Rosie (her hippie mom (moi!) actually named her Rose Quartz but we call her anything we want…Roselani, RoRo, Rosebud, Rosamund….it goes on forever) is my best buddy. She’s an excellent companion but, today I noticed that I say some really weird shit to her.
Things I said to Rosie today:
“Rosie, get the birds out of the house”
“RoRo….don’t lick boobs”
“Who’s my stinky girl?”
“Ow Rosie! Don’t nibble my ears!”
“Rosie Girl, you have three pairs of socks out here!”
“Eh! Stop eating my hair!”
“Your belly fur is so soft!”
“Should we go home and have some din din?”
“I said lie down you little fucker!”
“You want a cashew?”
“I don’t want to share my popsicle….okay fine…”
What would I do without you Rosie?! You’re the spice of life!
Yesterday I got off work around 1630. 30 minute commute later I’m stopping at a grocery store for supplies. I’m gonna make Kim Chee Meatballs for a Halloween Potluck at work. Make it home around 1730 to my pooch who has been home solo for 12 hours. (Don’t @ me. She actually hangs in the very nice yard and had socialization throughout the day…)
I’m in the kitchen making meatballs and feeling calm, balanced….and just so fucking proud of myself because I remember how I felt a year ago. A distinct memory popped into my head.
A year ago I got off work at 1630 but I was on my way home and realized I had no food. I had to deviate to the grocery store. I slogged through the store not knowing how I was gonna have the energy to get home. I loaded all the groceries into the car - hopped into the driver seat and realized I wouldn’t have enough gas to get to work in the morning. I could either fill up at a near by station or wait until the morning.
I slammed my hands on the steering wheel and screamed ‘Fuuuuuuuuckkkkkk!!!!!’. I almost started crying because my level of overwhelm was so high…just from needing to get gas. Then I took a deep breath and worked through the problem the way my mom encouraged me to do….because I was 35 and struggling with daily tasks and needing my moms counseling.
’What’s the next thing you need to do Megan?’ ‘You need to get gas.’ ‘Okay. I’m going to get gas.’ This is how I had to handle daily tasks.
This morning I woke up. I dressed up for Halloween. I had my lunch packed in the fridge. I had a potluck contribution. I was at the counter making a smoothie….and I realized I was excited to go to work on Halloween. I thought, ‘whoa. Since when did you love Halloween?!’. Then I realized, this is a new thing. I whispered to myself: you’ve never done this before!!!! (What. You guys don’t talk to yourself and your dog? Weird.)
Coming shoreside has hands down been the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my whole life and definitely in my whole career. It’s also been so darn emotional. I’m gonna start talking about it because, it’s part of the journey. I don’t know if I’ll ever go back to sea but, this season of my life. This season I’m in right now. Has taught me so much - about life - about balance - about growth - about change - about ego. I’m learning every day and it’s starting to feel good.
All I know is I dressed my dog up as a Pink Lady from Grease. Which basically means this hard ass year has all been worth it.
I took the dog to the beach this morning. She ran and ran and ran and played and played and played. It was a good beach morning.
As we were leaving I ran into an older gentleman - about 80 maybe. He was just arriving at the beach with his little doggie.
I smiled and said, ‘Good Morning’. He replied by saying ‘Can I share my thought of the day with you?’. I’m not 100% sure what it is about me but I must have a friendly face because I routinely have odd encounters with strangers. I felt kind of nervous that I was gonna get stuck talking to a crazy but, I said ‘sure.’.
He proceeded to sing me a little song. Two rounds of ‘when I wake up in the morning and I’m feeling alright...’ then he said, ‘you have to decided what feeling alright means to you!’ The ‘you’ was punctuated by a finger pointing at me emphatically. Then he wandered off.
I stood there for a second thinking. But seriously if that isn’t the gosh darn truth I don’t know what is. I really DO need to decide what feeling alright means to me...maybe you do too?
(to be honest, I tried really hard to remember the lyrics the whole way home....it might be ‘feeling fine’....I have the memory of a goldfish so who knows....)
this photo has nothing to do with the post. i just like it.
I don't want to say I fail at this challenge. Too soon. Although, forgetting to write on day two of the challenge does not exactly bode well.
I'm sure I could create some dramatic metaphor for life. It's probably just easier for all of us if we move on.
The truth is that I spent the day doing yard work with my Mom - then I went to Target and bought some party mix - then I took it to church for a kids movie night. That was the day.
I hung out in the church kitchen and popped popcorn for refills. I scolded the kids who came to hang out near the patio and told them in a hushed scary auntie voice to 'get back inside'.
I've got things going on today. I'm going to church (again). I'm doing some craft projects at the house. I'm having dinner with friends.
I've got one week at home left before it's time for me to head back to the arctic.
I'm just enjoying the mundane.
i took this photo sideways and ended up kinda liking it....
A friend recently asked me how I was doing. I said I was doing okay. That's what you say. You say you're doing okay because you are doing okay. Then she said, 'have you been writing?'. I had to admit that I hadn't written in awhile. She raised an eyebrow. The raised eyebrow said it all.
I like to write things out. It's always been one of my things. I haven't been writing much out lately. Obviously.
I'm going to try to instill a little discipline. You know the whole 'make it public make it happen' theory. I'm going to blog for thirty days in a row. Or..try my darndest anyways...
Day one. I'm calling this done.
