Nautie Books :: September 2013 - Man's Search for Meaning

 

Looking for some light fall reading?  Too bad.  Want to curl under the covers with a good book and a cup of tea?  You can still do that....while you have an existential crisis...

We're not messing around - summer break is over - we're diving right in.

I put this book on my To Be Read List quite awhile ago.  It popped up on my radar because I saw it here.  I think Maggie is clever, and fun, and inspirational - so I pretty much put any book she reviews onto my TBR List.

I saw it again here.  I learn a lot from this site and have a lot of reviewed books saved.

Without further ado, please join me in reading Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl.

Finding meaning is something I struggle with.  It's seems that in this business its easy to feel like a truck-driver-of-the seas.  I spend half my year out here and, the other half relaxing, visiting friends and family or travelling.  BUT.  What am I doing?  Who am I helping?  Will any of my hard work (and what at times feels like sacrifice) even matter in the end?

I'll let you read they synopsis on your own but, be prepared for some heavy reading.

Enjoy!  Contemplate life!  Find meaning!

Nautie Books :: Lean In = My Favorite

 

Lean In was a great book for me to read - and it was a great book for me right now - at this specific stage in my life - I firmly believe that it would be a great book for anyone at any stage in life!

To be clear:  I'm not done reading this book.  I read each page carefully.  I highlight things and make notes.  I journal about said highlights and notes.  What I'm about to share is just the beginning.

Favorites.

"She is very ambitious" is not a compliment in our culture.

Fear is at the root of so many of the barriers that women face.  Fear of not being liked.  Fear of making the wrong choice.  Fear of drawing negative attention.  Fear of overreaching.  Fear of being judged.  Fear of failure.  And the holy trinity of fear:  the fear of being a bad mother / wife / daughter.

And every time I didn't embarrass myself - or even excelled - I believed that I had fooled everyone yet again.  One day soon, the jig would be up.

I have attributed my success to luck, hard work, and help from others.

I learned over time that while it was hard to shake feelings of self-doubt, I could understand that there was a distortion.

When I don't feel confident, one tactic I've learned is that it sometimes helps to fake it.

It's a cliche, but opportunities are rarely offered; they're seized.

"You have to take opportunities and make an opportunity fit for you, rather than the other way around.  The ability to learn is the most important quality a leader can have." -Padmasree Warrior, Cisco's chief technology officer

But I also know that in order to continue to grow and challenge myself, I have to believe in my own abilities.  I still face situations that I fear are beyond my capabilities.  I still have days when I feel like a fraud.  And I still sometimes find myself spoken over and discounted while men sitting next to me are not.  But now I know how to take a deep breath and keep my hand up.  I have learned to sit at the table.

If a woman is competent, she does not seem nice enough.  If a woman seems really nice, she is considered more nice than competent.

Arianna Huffington, founder of The Huffington Post, believes that learning to withstand criticism is a necessity for women.  Early in her career, Arianna realized that the cost of speaking her mind was that she would inevitably offend someone.

Her (Arianna's) advice is that we should let ourselves react emotionally and feel whatever anger or sadness being criticized evokes for us.  And then we should quickly move on.

He said that when you want to change things, you can't please everyone.  If you do please everyone, you aren't making enough progress.  Mark was right.

The jungle gym model benefits everyone, but especially women who might be starting careers, switching careers, getting blocked by external barriers, or reentering the workforce after taking time off.

The cost of stability is often diminished opportunities for growth.

Women need to shift from thinking "I'm not ready to do that" to thinking "I want to do that - and I'll learn by doing it."

We cannot assume that interactions between men and women have a sexual component.  And everyone involved has to make sure to behave professionally so women - and men - feel safe in all settings.

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I can't tell you all how often I wanted to shout 'YES!' while reading this book.  I often stopped to call a girfriend just to bounce ideas around.  I hope you enjoyed this book - or are considering enjoying it - male and female alike!

A Little Feminism + Nautie Books = Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg

Every now and then we talk a little bit about feminism around here.  This week I stumbled across some gems on the internet so, ready for a little more feminist talk?  First of all, Happy 50th Birthday to the Equal Pay Act!   I stumbled across this TEDTalk that blew my mind because - Yes!  This!  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18uDutylDa4

I often wonder why after women have had equal rights - and all the fighting women did for equal rights - women didn't rise to the top quicker.

Why is it that in 8 years of sailing I've had one female captain (out of about 20)?  Why have I had only one female pilot (out of more pilots than I could possibly count)?  Why is it when I work in the office there are no women heading up operations (there are many women in the office but very few in vessel specific positions)?  Why do I feel like I am either sailing with withering ovaries or quitting?  Why don't I think I can make it work?

Over a year ago I attended The Women on the Water Conference.  It was held at one of the State Maritime Academies and it was designed to introduce female midshipmen to female professionals in the maritime industry.  It was excellent.  One of my friends was leading a discussion on appropriate shipboard conduct and tips for shipboard success but, at the end of her discussion she threw something in for the ladies who were already in the industry.  She said:  Don't eat the young.

It really stuck with me because, she was right.  We eat the young.  Women have a tendency to be tough on each other.  If there is one thing we can do as women in the maritime industry it's to help each other achieve success.

Women are hard on each other but news flash - Men are hard on women too.  We were talking about a Chic out on a Rig.  A Dude says, 'I don't mind working with her - she's okay'.  Dear Lady Friend looks at me and says, 'You know what that means right?  She's awesome.'.

I'm about to let the cat out of the bag.  I feel like this is a secret I have guarded.  My vessels nickname in the fleet is the Xyz Estrogen (xyz is my companies name...you understand...).  We have all female officers:  Chief Mate, Second Mate, Third Mate.  We'll all be going back for our third rotation together.  Nautie Friends, let me tell you, this is unheard of.  All female officers for multiple rotations?!  Mind Blowing.

I haven't said anything about it because it shouldn't be a big deal.  The first woman graduated from Maine Maritime Academy in 1975!  It should blow no one's mind that a ship could have multiple female deck officers.....but it does.  It blows everyone's mind.

As I have moved up in rank I have started to feel an overwhelming degree that I must be mindful of my obligation to mentor.  If I don't stop and take the time to mentor who will?  If I don't remind myself not to eat the young will they all be eaten?  Most importantly, if I don't recognize that I have something to teach - will I teach?

I'd also like to stop right here and reiterate that I think having a choice as a women is a powerful thing.  I would never, ever presume to know what was best for someone's family or child.  I am in no way advocating that rising to the top of the leadership pyramid is the best choice for everyone!

Without further ado, I'd like to introduce June's Nautie Books Selection:

Please join me in reading Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg.  I've already begun and have nodded my head and wanted to say, 'amen sister!' more than once.

When a girl tries to lead, she is often labeled bossy.  Boys are seldom called bossy because a boy taking the role of a boss does not surprise or offend.  As someone who was called this for much of my childhood, I know that it is not a compliment.

Oh.My.God.Yes.  I have been called bossy my entire life...and have never once thought of it as a positive.

I was at a friends wedding with a gaggle of Maine Maritime and Coast Guard Academy Grads.  We were all throwing out suggestions and getting wedding preparations underway.  My dear lady friend said, 'I love that there are so many natural leaders here!!!'.  She wasn't being facetious - she didn't want us to quit bossing her around - she was honestly impressed!  At that moment I was impressed.  All I could think was, I'm not sure I'd like to be surrounded by so many bossypants for too much longer!  I shouldn't have been impressed - I should have embraced the bossy.

I'll be reading this book for many reasons:  I don't want to eat the young...and, I want to become a better leader....and, I want to embrace the bossy.....and, I believe that there is a work / life balance that I can achieve....and, I want to promote other women in the industry....and because I'm tired of being so hard on myself!

I realize that Nautie Books is beginning to have a poor track record!  I didn't debriefed April or May's book selection!  What can I say - I'm struggling to find a work / life balance (*wink*)!

Ladies and Gentlemen, let's Lean In! 

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Nautie Books :: April 2013 - The Fault In Our Stars

Is this the month we get back on track?

Yes, yes it is.

Please join me in reading April's selection The Fault In Our Stars By John Green.

I've wanted to read this book for a really long time and just never made time.

We're making it now!

Here's what Amazon has to say:

Despite the tumor-shrinking medical miracle that has bought her a few years, Hazel has never been anything but terminal, her final chapter inscribed upon diagnosis. But when a gorgeous plot twist named Augustus Waters suddenly appears at Cancer Kid Support Group, Hazel’s story is about to be completely rewritten.

Insightful, bold, irreverent, and raw, The Fault in Our Stars is award-winning-author John Green’s most ambitious and heartbreaking work yet, brilliantly exploring the funny, thrilling, and tragic business of being alive and in love.

Alright Nautie Book Readers - we have till the end of April.

*Also to the Nautie Family, I realize this book might hit a little close to home at times but, I think we can handle it...*

p.s. Historiauntie, I totally got your book suggestion.  Next month sound good?

Nautie Books :: March Madness = Joy The Baker Cookbook

I know what you're thinking....you didn't think I'd pull it off.  You figured I'd let March just come and go and then I'd hastily recover for the month of April.  Oh, you couldn't be more wrong.  I'm a Master Procrastinator.  Master. The beauty of being a Master Procrastinator is that you're mind slowly gets trained to have it's best ideas just in time for you to slide under the wire.

Last night I had the best idea EVER:  Feature a cookbook.

I LOVE COOKBOOKS. If my Step-Dad was here He'd say, 'why don't you marry it then?'. To which I'd respond, 'okay, fine.'.  I would marry a cookbook.

There is nothing I love more, than curling up on the couch and flipping through gorgeous pages full of delicious looking foods.  I love imagining the party I would host.  I love imagining how wow'd my friends would be if I brought over that scrumptious looking desert.

I have a lot of cookbooks.  I shipped every last one of them to my new apartment in Houston.  I didn't get rid of even one of them.

Lets take this one step further.  I have one special cookbook that I keep on my iPad.  This way, when I'm at sea I can look at the pictures and pretend I'm curled up on my couch.

Joy the Baker is my idol.  I lurve her.  She gives me blog hope.  She gives me yummy ideas.  She makes me laugh.  She's pretty.  Her food photos are the shit.  I think she's totally rad.

This is an open ended reading assignment - Get Joy's Cookbook - Read her blog - At your leisure - Then friend me some how so you can show me the photos you take of your yummy food!

You won't regret this.  At all.

Nautie Books :: February 2013 - The Lemon Tree

A few years back I was on a ship in the Persian Gulf (it was of the pre-blog era).  I didn't really love this ship except for one thing...every month they got a box of books.  The books were completely random which meant that you got a little of everything each month.  At the very end of my six month hitch a book showed up that perked me up.  I started reading it - and it was GOOD but, then it was time for me to go home and I felt really bad taking the book with me because I thought it should remain aboard.

I've thought of this book often over the years and have always wanted to pick it back up.

Without further ado, I'm pleased to announce February's Book Selection!

The Lemon Tree: An Arab, A Jew, and the Heart of the Middle East By Sandy Tolan

Here's what Amazon has to say:

In 1967, Bashir Al-Khayri, a Palestinian twenty-five-year-old, journeyed to Israel, with the goal of seeing the beloved old stone house, with the lemon tree behind it, that he and his family had fled nineteen years earlier. To his surprise, when he found the house he was greeted by Dalia Ashkenazi Landau, a nineteen-year-old Israeli college student, whose family fled Europe for Israel following the Holocaust. On the stoop of their shared home, Dalia and Bashir began a rare friendship, forged in the aftermath of war and tested over the next thirty-five years in ways that neither could imagine on that summer day in 1967. Based on extensive research, and springing from his enormously resonant documentary that aired on NPR's Fresh Airin 1998, Sandy Tolan brings the Israeli-Palestinian conflict down to its most human level, suggesting that even amid the bleakest political realities there exist stories of hope and reconciliation.

I know what you're thinking:  Why are you making me read another hard book?  I get it.  I'd feel like that too.

It just seems to me that there is so much conflict in the world....that I don't understand.  I want to understand.

Mid-month I'll be providing a book club alternative.  An easy, light hearted read....just in case you're just in dire need of some feel good.