It's an early morning bridge watch and we're nearing the California Coast. That means we start hearing all sorts of vessels radio'ing in to Vessel Traffic Service (VTS), small pleasure craft making mayday calls cause their coolers are out of ice (I kid, I kid but, some of the calls are ridiculous) and asking for radio checks, you get the picture.

A vessel radios VTS and notifies them that they have dropped anchor - when making the call they provide their call sign. (Sidebar: Every vessel has a call sign. US Flag vessels will always have a call sign starting with 'K' or 'W' unless they're a military vessel - every country has its own designators but 'F' and 'E' are common.) Said vessel rambles off their call sign - which contained 'F' - Foxtrot.

My watch stander begins mumbling....

AB: foxtrot...that's what the cops use man...

AB: foxtrot is for cops...

AB: ...they must be hour here looking for smugglers...

AB: smuggling sailboats...

AB: nothing but drifters man...

Please note I have remained silent through this whole mumbled mess.

A vessel radios the Coast Guard on Channel 16 (normally reserved for emergency traffic) requesting a radio check.

USCG heard over radio: Vessel requesting a radio check, read you loud and clear, please be advised Ch 09 and Ch 27 are to be used for automated radio checks. United States Coast Guard Los Angeles Out.

AB: ....what happened to your foxtrot man....

I was so proud of myself for not yelling, Whiskey Tango FOXTROT are you talking about?!