In the last port I'm taking a nap when the Korean Radar Technician wakes me up from my nap to say, 'you sign paypah!' I grumble 'go get the captain' but put on my work clothes and shuffle up to the bridge to sign his paperwork. If there's one unofficial rule on a ship it's: learn when people take their naps...and then don't wake them up! I was cranky.

I sign his paperwork and run into the Chief Mate on the bridge who was also their to sign his paperwork - apparently I'm not the only one to receive a call.

The Chief Mate was pretty bummed because he had just sat on his glasses. After a few minutes of trying to help him I basically say, 'you're required to have a spare...I'm going back to bed...'

I've just snuggled back in my bed when there's a furious rapping at my door.

I throw on some pants and whip open the door.

CM: I opened the cupboard by my bed to look for my glasses...I gotta show you something...

ME: *blank stare*

CM: There's a stack of porn in the cupboard - it's been there since I got this job...about two years at least...

ME: ..and...

CM: That's not what I have to show you!

(back story - the other CM who just got off the ship completed his first trip - he might not know about the porn legacy)

ME: ok....I follow him to his room and he opens the cupboard...

There, next to the stack of girlie mags is a perfectly placed cheese grater.

CM: WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!?!

ME: ummm...well....I'd say he doesn't approve....